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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Jewish
Stealing
Dad
Car
Taxes
School
Steal

More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
Dov Davidoff
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
Dov Davidoff