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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Dad
Car
Taxes
School
Steal
Jewish
Stealing

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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
Dov Davidoff