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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
Else
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
Dov Davidoff
White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
Dov Davidoff
Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
Dov Davidoff
Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
Dov Davidoff
TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
Dov Davidoff
When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
Dov Davidoff
I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
Dov Davidoff
I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
Dov Davidoff
Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
Dov Davidoff
I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
Dov Davidoff