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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
First
Radicals
Needs
Gotta
Radical
Figure
Figures
Free
Firsts
Need

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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?
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Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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