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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
Dov Davidoff
Comedy is rarely funny.
Dov Davidoff
I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
Dov Davidoff
Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
Dov Davidoff
Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
Dov Davidoff
Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
Dov Davidoff
It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
Dov Davidoff