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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Reasonable
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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