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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
Dov Davidoff