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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
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