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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
Dov Davidoff
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
Dov Davidoff
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
Dov Davidoff
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
Dov Davidoff
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
Dov Davidoff
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
Dov Davidoff
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
Dov Davidoff
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
Dov Davidoff
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
Dov Davidoff
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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
Dov Davidoff
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
Dov Davidoff
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
Dov Davidoff
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
Dov Davidoff
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
Dov Davidoff
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
Dov Davidoff
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
Dov Davidoff
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
Dov Davidoff