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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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