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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Violent
Americans
Less
Like
Canadians
Racist
Ignorant

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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
Dov Davidoff