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Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Protect
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
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I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff