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Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Protect
Need
Hard
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Guard
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Dog

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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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