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Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
Dov Davidoff
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
Dov Davidoff