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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
Dov Davidoff
Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
Dov Davidoff
A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
Dov Davidoff
Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
Dov Davidoff
MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
Dov Davidoff
I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff
It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
Dov Davidoff
How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff