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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
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Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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