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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Wear
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Unless
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Padding
Life
Nfl
Fragile

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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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