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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
Life
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Fragile
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Padding
More quotes by Dov Davidoff
You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
Dov Davidoff
No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
Dov Davidoff
Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
Dov Davidoff
America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
Dov Davidoff
People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
Dov Davidoff
Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
Dov Davidoff
Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
Dov Davidoff
Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
Dov Davidoff
Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
Dov Davidoff
How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
Dov Davidoff
Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
Dov Davidoff
Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
Dov Davidoff
Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
Dov Davidoff
We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
Dov Davidoff