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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
Fear
Great
Foreplay
Motivator
More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
Dov Davidoff
My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
Dov Davidoff
Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
Dov Davidoff
Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dov Davidoff
Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
Dov Davidoff
Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
Dov Davidoff
Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
Dov Davidoff
America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
Dov Davidoff
It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
Dov Davidoff
Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
Dov Davidoff
I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
Dov Davidoff
Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
Dov Davidoff