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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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Fear
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
Dov Davidoff
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
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