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I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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