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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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