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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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