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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
Dov Davidoff
My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
Dov Davidoff
I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
Dov Davidoff
Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
Dov Davidoff