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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
Appreciated
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
Dov Davidoff
Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
Dov Davidoff
People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
Dov Davidoff
People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
Dov Davidoff
Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
Dov Davidoff
Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
Dov Davidoff