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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Confidence
Self
Thinly
Veiled
Disguised
Ego
False
Humility

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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
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Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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