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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Behaving
Upside
Prevents
Joints
Baboon
Aging
Baboons
Knowledge
Downside
Self
Metabolism
Like
Slower

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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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