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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Knowledge
Downside
Self
Metabolism
Like
Slower
Behaving
Upside
Prevents
Joints
Baboon
Aging
Baboons

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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
Dov Davidoff