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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Prevents
Joints
Baboon
Aging
Baboons
Knowledge
Downside
Self
Metabolism
Like
Slower
Behaving
Upside

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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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