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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
Dov Davidoff
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
Dov Davidoff
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
Dov Davidoff
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
Dov Davidoff
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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
Dov Davidoff
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Dov Davidoff
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
Dov Davidoff
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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
Dov Davidoff
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
Dov Davidoff
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
Dov Davidoff
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
Dov Davidoff
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
Dov Davidoff
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
Dov Davidoff
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
Dov Davidoff
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Dov Davidoff
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
Dov Davidoff
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
Dov Davidoff
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
Dov Davidoff
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
Dov Davidoff