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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Statues
Profound
Bits
Liberty
Wish
Really
Lighten
Statue

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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
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We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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