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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
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When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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