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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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