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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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