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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
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