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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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