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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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