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I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
Dov Davidoff