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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Sandwiches
Anger
Issues
Think
Thinking
Yelled
Sandwich
Kidding

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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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