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Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
Dov Davidoff
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
Dov Davidoff
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
Dov Davidoff
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
Dov Davidoff
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
Dov Davidoff
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
Dov Davidoff
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
Dov Davidoff
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
Dov Davidoff
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
Dov Davidoff
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
Dov Davidoff
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
Dov Davidoff