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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Produce
Fear
Long
Organic
Lack
Prison
Lived

More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
Dov Davidoff
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
Dov Davidoff
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
Dov Davidoff
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
Dov Davidoff
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
Dov Davidoff
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
Dov Davidoff
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
Dov Davidoff
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
Dov Davidoff
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
Dov Davidoff
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
Dov Davidoff
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
Dov Davidoff
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dov Davidoff