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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
Dov Davidoff