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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
Dov Davidoff
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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