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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
Dov Davidoff