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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Professional
Consider
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Physicist
Always
Fighter

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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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