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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
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