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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
Dov Davidoff