Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
Dov Davidoff
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dov Davidoff
Talking
Goats
Pigs
Chickens
Marry
Expect
Works
Serious
Pretty
Dowry
More quotes by Dov Davidoff
I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
Dov Davidoff
Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
Dov Davidoff
Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
Dov Davidoff
The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
Dov Davidoff
I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
Dov Davidoff
Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
Dov Davidoff
People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
Dov Davidoff
I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
Dov Davidoff
Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
Dov Davidoff
The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
Dov Davidoff
Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
Dov Davidoff
Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Dov Davidoff
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
Dov Davidoff
If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff
TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
Dov Davidoff
Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
Dov Davidoff
I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
Dov Davidoff
Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
Dov Davidoff
Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
Dov Davidoff
My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
Dov Davidoff