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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Promise
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
Dov Davidoff