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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
Dov Davidoff
It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
Dov Davidoff
Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
Dov Davidoff
The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
Dov Davidoff
The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
Dov Davidoff
Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
Dov Davidoff
People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
Dov Davidoff
Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
Dov Davidoff
People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
Dov Davidoff
If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff
MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
Dov Davidoff
Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
Dov Davidoff
All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
Dov Davidoff
Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
Dov Davidoff
A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
Dov Davidoff
We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
Dov Davidoff
People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
Dov Davidoff
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Dov Davidoff