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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Getting
Great
Even
Years
Upset
Things
Havens
People
Haven
Seen
Though

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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
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Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
Dov Davidoff