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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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