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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Dov Davidoff