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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
Really
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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