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I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
Dov Davidoff
Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
Dov Davidoff
Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
Dov Davidoff
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
Dov Davidoff
What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
Dov Davidoff
Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
Dov Davidoff
Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
Dov Davidoff
The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
Dov Davidoff
Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
Dov Davidoff
No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
Dov Davidoff
MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
Dov Davidoff
When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
Dov Davidoff
It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
Dov Davidoff
When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
Dov Davidoff
If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
Dov Davidoff
Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
Dov Davidoff
It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
Dov Davidoff
You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
Dov Davidoff
The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
Dov Davidoff