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I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
Dov Davidoff
I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
Dov Davidoff
I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
Dov Davidoff
False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
Dov Davidoff
I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
Dov Davidoff
Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
Dov Davidoff
It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
Dov Davidoff
Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
Dov Davidoff
You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
Dov Davidoff
I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
Dov Davidoff
Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Dov Davidoff
Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
Dov Davidoff
I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
Dov Davidoff
Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
Dov Davidoff
Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
Dov Davidoff
What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
Dov Davidoff
Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
Dov Davidoff
How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
Dov Davidoff
America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
Dov Davidoff